Just for that, that's what they don't get!

Somebody at work with 3 or 4 small boys was telling us when there is a head lice sighting at the school, she makes all her boys wear mayonnaise and rubber swim caps on their hair as a low cost low chemical alternative to lice shampoo. “And it is good for their hair!” she says. The one time I met her boys it was summer and they were all in crew cuts. There isn’t a lot that is good or bad for crew cuts, as far as I know. Isn’t that like saying during a gardening conversation that something is good or bad for gravel? Open flame is probably bad for crew cuts. (I miss a little chunk of the head lice discussion by daydreaming about crew cuts and gravel. Gravel heads. I like rocks. There is a giant store that sells rocks and fossils near my house. More staring than buying goes on in that store. No matter how interesting the rock, if you are standing in a store full of rocks, it is easy to catch on you don’t need to own any specific rock or two. I did buy some fossilized poop once, even though I was skeptical that it really was that and not just conveniently shaped to sell it for that. I gave it to somebody else, who was not as a result as happy as I expected them to be.)

How long do they have to wear the mayonnaise and swim caps?
“Oh, not long. Just 8 hours.”
EIGHT HOURS?!?
“They have fun. We do it on Saturday and we stay inside all day and play board games.”
Gosh. Little kids really do believe however their family operates is just the way life is, don’t they?

I lost my brown stocking cap out of my bag on the bus today. It was brand new, never even once on my head, but whoever found it isn’t going to know that. They are going to pick it up with the very tips of their fingertips to give it to the bus driver, because they are worrying about getting head lice. Then it will go to the bus lost and found, all the way across town on SE 17th and Holgate, and I won’t bother to go get it back because I have other stocking hats. I hope somebody finds it who thinks swim caps and mayonnaise and board games are fun, so they steal it and get some use out of it. It will serve them right when they don't get head lice.