brand new topic

The police agency I work for has asked me to help them plan a change in their search and rescue program (one of the largest in the state) to take advantage of local sustainable resources and areas of local expertise or market glut. In a budget cutting genius idea, we are probably switching over from using police dogs for search and rescue operations to using police chickens

Backyard chickens have crested in popularity in this city and are showing up increasingly in Craigslist listings. Roosters have been available all along. We can get the animals for next to nothing and compared to what it costs to feed a police dog (or police horse either come to think of it. Hm….well never mind because then we would need to hire babies to ride them) the cost of chicken feed is chicken feed. We might need to ask hikers to come in for one brief session, before their hikes, to feed the chickens grated cheese. It only takes once. Unless they just want to take a signaler thing or GPS with them, but those are not tasty and delicious roasted.*

We will not warn hikers that we might be using roosters (only for the shy hikers or anybody wearing show off expensive hiking gear who we can tell just by looking at them will be too embarrassed to yell HELP HELP HELP I AM LOST really loudly unless a rooster with razor sharp talons is fighting them) or about the chicken uniforms (that part will just be a nice surprise and could lead to more helpful screaming also.)

*My chickens can't participate in this program because they have criminal histories.