in addition to running around the DARE bus screaming

We thought of this too late for this year (yesterday) but next year we office ladies at my office plan to be better prepared for Bring Your Child To Work Day.

We need to find some realistic looking guns. When the youngsters come in, it would be fun for them (and impress them, probably encouraging them to choose careers in law enforcement) if we all whirled around grabbing our guns from drawers and purses and pointed at them. Like Charlie's Angels only there are more of us and we are older and weigh more and don't dress as well.

Then we could say "Oh; it is YOU" and put the guns away and give them candy!*
We need to all whirl around at once. We can practice.

*If we forget to buy candy we can just hand out the small sugar packets from the coffee room like we did this year.

Why is there a pile of tissue paper and dental floss on the Sunday school teacher's bathroom floor?

Yes it did surprise me a little bit when my friend’s child, T, who I was babysitting, came to the dinner table last night wearing my potholders on her feet.



She had been made to remove her extremely muddy shoes and socks inside the house earlier, and now offered the logic that she put the pot holders on because her feet were cold. A wise adult uses such moments for teaching opportunities. For example, potholders are for hot things not cold things, which she now knows, and I did not make her take them off. It might be extremely useful one day that she can eat toaster waffles with her feet.

SHE was surprised a little today when she found her Easter basket at Easter brunch at her Sunday School teacher’s house. The SS teacher invited me for brunch and then was shocked to see a child with me. Oops. “Do you want me to make her wait in the car?” I helpfully offered. The SS teacher said “No; I just need to make another Easter basket really fast. Look for small things laying around my house that she would like!”

T’s favorite thing in her Easter basket (which did look pretty much like a wicker wastepaper basket) was a pair of reading glasses, although it was hard for her to climb stairs while wearing them.

The Beagle Boys are Back, At Least One Of Them

I don't know what that means, but my best friend said it for the title to an email where she sent this link : http://kygl.com/crime-pentathlon-drunk-driving-stolen-car-through-crime-scene-while-naked-looking-at-porn, well worth viewing, even if you are skeptical because the word "porn" is right in the link.

C'mon. Click on it. Don't think about that time I convinced you to put peanut butter in your ear!

The best friend is from Texas and said once that she could just look around at all the people reading books on buses in my town and know that she was not in Texas. (Or something like that.) To which I observe now, x years later, yes but the people who post comments of mugshot websites in Texas are much smarter than mugshot website commenters here. Now, why is that?

I love the # 12

Frustrated bus driver to passenger: I have to ask you if that dog is a service animal! If you say yes, legally I have to allow you to have it on the bus with you! If you say no, you need to get off the bus with it, since it is not in a carrier!

Restive passengers muttering: oh my god. oh my god will this discussion never end. say what she wants you to say!

fbdtp: If you bring a pony on the bus next week, the same rules apply! Miniature ponies have just been added to the list of service animals! Cats are also on the list. I have to ask you that question. I have to abide by the response you give me!

passenger being yelled at: I don't have a pony.

other muttering passengers #1, 14, 47, 3, 11. and 15: oh my GOD.
#13: Will this bus driver never shut up?
standing up front, weirdly cheerful: I'm going to bring my rabbit.
man across aisle: I'm going to bring my monkey....he's a SERVICE monkey.
nice lady: MONKEY! You got a monkey?
maa: yes I do.
nl: I surely would like to see it.
maa: He brushes his teeth and everything.
nl: He doesn't. You should put your monkey on facebook.
maa: He's already on twitter.

I thought she was going to say she felt ashamed of something else

I was at 777 posts and I hated to add this one.

Friday I cut my finger on butter. Well, the packaging, the flimsy cardboard box. It was more entertaining to think of it the other way. In fact it was worth the discomfort.

Shopper in line at the thrift store, about a different person's purchase: Those don't work.
Thrift store cashier: What don't?
Shopper: Those vacuums. That plug into a car cigarette lighter. I bought one once at your other store. They don't work. Not enough suction.
Me: What did you do with it? Did you give it back to the thrift store?
Shopper: Yes.
Me: Maybe that's yours.
Shopper: No; mine was in a different box.
(silence except for me laughing)
Shopper: I feel ashamed. ..... That I bought it in the first place.


I hit Dexter the cat in the chin accidentally in the dark but he forgave me after going about 8 feet away from me.